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We had a pretty controversial post on Instagram about this with lots and lots of comments so getting this topic on the podcast felt appropriate!
The reason is was so controversial is because we had a handful of dieters who couldn’t accept the fact that getting compliments for all their hard work is damaging – in a way they may have felt threatened that they wouldn’t be getting the external validation they so desperately need from the world to let them know – “hey you’re body is smaller, you are now worthy and enough.”
Of course this need for external validation was something that was learned from diet culture – dieters aren’t bad or wrong for wanting this validation – it’s just how diet culture has groomed us as humans – no one is bad or wrong but our intention of bringing up this topic is not to demean anyone – just share our opinions on this ….
So what’s so damaging about the phrase “Have you lost weight? You look so good!” ?
As we always mention- weight loss is NOT bad. It’s the obsessive focus around weight loss and changed (toxic) behavior that we are talking about – being intuitive, feeling good in your body and your mind, moving in ways that you enjoy, eating fruits and veggies that you love, and ice cream that you desire – that’s all fabulous – and when you have the intention of living with wellness without the obsession – your body is going to do what it’s going to do.
This is about stepping away from the number on the scale and stepping into how you feel in your body and your mind.
Live your life the way you want to live- just remember to hold the boundary – that commenting on other peoples bodies is unnecessary AND when someone compliments YOUR body for appearing smaller, don’t say thank you, instead regard it as a neutral comment, like you would if someone said, you have a purple shirt on today, “Oh hmmm…”. This stops the idea that YOU see thinness as a compliment, every bit helps shift others’ view on weight loss and commenting on others’ bodies.
Remember that you are enough as you are – in this body that you have today.
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The Body Love Society provides women with the mindset tools and community so they can stop dieting, practice intuitive eating, and learn to love their bodies.
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